Facing your toughest negotiation foe… yourself

It’s an interesting moment, which frequently emerges when we develop professional negotiation and influencing capability- the realisation or ‘light bulb’ that we don’t always negotiate with another party. We are in fact in constant negotiations with ourselves!

At a fast and furious pace! Unlike our engagements with another party or stakeholder, we always have access to ourselves and we know a lot…what’s at stake and who holds the cards.

Fear of losing a strong position, power or indeed a deal itself can trigger the negative, down shifting ‘self-talk’ that undermines our real time progress with another party.

My first negotiation every day is with my alarm. We each know this moment is coming; we respect each other and we face one another with resolution and rigor… every single morning. This is a negotiation I tend to walk away from heavy with defeat… I get up!

So, what to do with our self-negotiations? Would structure help? Discipline? A process framework? Absolutely - in every instance. I recently read an article written about the leadership training held by two
distinguished former US Marines. Leadership under combat conditions requires ownership. It requires personal responsibility, with no exceptions.

Our day to day negotiations away from a battlefield - be they professional or personal, also ask us to have skill, structure and accountability to ourselves. If we can look in the mirror and be assured we’re purposeful around the process of influencing we can manage ‘self-talk’ to help rather than hinder. Carpe diem! Seize this day and every day. Gain skill and structure and understand ourselves and how to manage and develop our own negotiation style and perspective.

To discuss this article in more depth and explore developing your negotiation capabilities, please contact us via email or call +612 9299 9688.

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ENS International (ENSI) provides negotiation consulting and training services helping people and organizations think and act differently to achieve more. 

Negotiators gain the edge using proven ENSI influencing processes incorporating commercial psychology with a deep understanding of human behaviour. ENSI delivers through Consulting Services and In-House or Open Course training. 

With over 60 Practitioners working within 75 countries we have a depth of experience across a diverse range of sectors.

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