Trust. You have it or you don’t. It’s hard to build and easy to lose. Being ‘trusted’ is the key to relationship survival. Building relationships is critical for negotiators.
Negative accusations of lack of trustworthiness at both the inter-organizational(impersonal) and inter-personal levels are sometimes used as a negotiation tactic to gain leverage over the other side.
Is it ʻTrustʼ or ʻMistrustʼ
What is trust? It is the confidence of being able to rely on the other party to act as they say they will.
At the inter-personal level, a lead negotiator might reprimand an indiscrete counterpart: ‘I trusted you to keep our discussions off-the-record’.
We can identify two aspects of trust: an emotional feeling part that suggests or lack of it, and a performance track record part that confirms trust.
Ask yourself, has there been a real failing in confidence? Or is it a tactical manoeuvre to exert pressure?
Research suggests that our immediate reactions in negotiation are emotional rather than rational. Accordingly, negotiators need to carefully monitor the impact of using the word ‘trust’. Often the implied sub-text that we ‘mistrust’ the other is heard with the common reaction to this being a fight or flight emotional response. The accused person either attacks you as also being untrustworthy or becomes defensive about their position. Neither reaction is helpful.
To overcome this we suggest that negotiators refrain from using the word ‘trust’. The aim is to prevent an emotional reaction that fosters a negative negotiation ‘atmosphere’.
Instead, we advise negotiators to focus on the more rational performance track record area.
Focus on Building Predictability
How can we do this?
To overcome mistrust, rather than discussing views on people’s lack of trustworthiness, focus on building predictability. Develop compliance mechanisms that will ensure the other party’s commitment.
To build trust, consider these suggestions below.
Tips on Building Trust
- Agree the Process: in the pre-negotiation phase agree on how the negotiation event is to be run, and stick to this
- Create overarching common ground: establish and nurture a common objective
- Use their language: notice the nuances and how the other uses words to convey ideas, not just the technical jargon
- Mirror their non-verbals: physically signal you are alike
- Communicate openly: be transparent, carefully explain the reasons for your demands and actions
- Listen carefully: stop talking. Trust is built when you take time to listen and really understand the other, be empathic
- Prove reliability: look for opportunities to make and uphold small commitments
- Make (low value) unilateral concessions: increase goodwill by ensuring the other understands what and why you are doing so
- Manage your reputation: have mutually-trusted third parties vouch for your character
- And remember, lying kills trust.
To discuss this article in more depth and explore developing your negotiation capabilities, please contact us via email or call +612 9299 9688.